A few months ago I posted a video on YouTube to show people how I use dowsing wands. (You can see it here.) I made it for fun and to show people how I test for resonance and the presence of energy. From the comments I received, some people think this is cool, some think I am trying to hoax them, some people think that dowsing is the work of the devil.

Whatever. I'm just sharing, not trying to persuade anyone.

So I was taken aback by a comment that arrived in my inbox the other day:

You and I both know you are a scammer. Nothing will change the fact that you scam people out of money. And I know you don't sleep well at night. It eats at you. The inner voice… "I'm a crook." "I'm a cheat." Happy nightmares.

Huh? The "happy nightmares" was the topper for me. Best read with coffee to start your day.

Personally, I cannot fathom writing a stranger hate mail, but I think my training in psychology and coaching gives me an understanding of why people sent this stuff (but that's a different story).

In full disclosure, I do provide an affiliate link if someone wants to purchase these dowsing rods (they are the best I've found). I think I make like 3 bucks a sale. And just so you know, whenever I formulate a plan to cheat people, it's my policy to make sure my end is at least 10 bucks a sale. I mean, I'm not stoopid.

I did my best to dismiss the e-mail and move on with my day. But in the back of my mind, I cannot help but wonder where that came from. What am I putting out there to attract something like that? What is going on between me and money that this divine teacher disguised as a frothing YouTuber is trying to enlighten me on?

<<Fast forward two weeks.>>

Karin and I are in New York City for a wedding. My friend lives in NYC and we decide to meet up at the art gallery where she works. She's been called in to show a potential buyer a painting right before the ceremony and the gallery is two blocks away. Perfect.

As I enter the gallery and say hello, I notice the paintings on the walls. They are all about 5' x 5' or so, to give you some scale. The first one I see is below.

<Image removed by request>

 

My photo makes it look much better than it appeared on the wall in person. Without the flash, it was just a mass of blackish-brown with little definition. Even seen here with the more pronounced colors, I can't say it moves me in any particular way.

My friend sees me looking at it and informs me that the painting costs well over 30 million dollars (I was asked not to disclose the actual price).

My eyes became as large as glazed doughnuts.

THAT costs 30 mill? You've got to be kidding me. I have to take a picture of this. I mean, I think I could paint this, I really do…

My attitude went from amazement to indignation. While I had zero knowledge about the painting, its significance, its history, or its creator, I believed the price was ridiculous and the mocking tone of my voice reflected my belief.

Karin reminded me that I was being a bit of a touchhole in front of my friend and disrespectful of her passion for art, and so I shut my mouth. But I kept taking pictures as my friend described the significance of the piece. I still didn't get it.

A moment later the gentleman who was interested in buying the painting walked through the door. Who was this guy? What did he do? How'd he get all that scratch? What does he see in this art? Really? He already owns two similar works?

It was time for us to depart for the wedding. In the hours and days that passed, I retold the story of the painting many times. My emphasis in the retelling was always can you believe how much this costs?

I thought back to the prospective buyer in the gallery. I watched him as my friend told him the prices of the various pieces. His demeanor never changed. Why did I care so much?

I had asked my friend what the artist's cut was going to be on the sale. Yes, he was still alive and he would receive 97% of the sale price. Again, I had never heard of the artist, knew nothing about this cat, and yet a felt a wave of resentment toward him pass through me.

Certainly he didn't deserve such an enormous sum of money. For one painting? And such an "ugly" one at that? All these people are crazy… wasting money like this…???

Looking back, I suppose I just could not fathom having that kind of money in my life. Do I want that kind of wealth? Sure I do. Do I resonate with allowing that kind of money into my life? Certainly not.

And here's how we know that (without even having to use the previously mentioned dowsing rods). I REACTED. Your emotions, and yes, your reactions show you where your buttons are — where you're conditioning lives — and that which keeps you from allowing your truest desires into your life.

The more conscious you are in living your life, the more you will pay attention to your reactions and take full responsibility for them. The less conscious you are, the more you will blame others for your reactions.

It's much easier for me to judge everyone associated with a piece of art, the art itself, and the value placed on that  art as "insane and obscene" and self-righteously tell people the story to bolster my world view ("yes, don't you agree with me? Isn't that crazy?") than it is to see my reaction and judgement as a reflection of my own self imposed limitations.

This was one painting. In one gallery. In one building. On one corner of New York City. Someone determined that it was worth 30 million dollars. Someone seemed happy to pay that. There's as much money and wealth in the universe as we allow into our experience.

Just to show me I had not adequately addressed my unconscious money belief, the universe provided me with another message to make sure I got it.

I had just sent out an announcement about my new coaching program — The Very Cool Life Network. In many ways, this is the most ambitious project I've ever created. I believe it will transform lives — mine and the people who choose to join me on this adventure.

In addition, filling this group will also allow me to change my whole way of doing business and allow me even more freedom in my life. It feels huge to me.

Much like the painting, the value of the program is arbitrary and largely defined by the client. But it's still up to me to set the price and I set the value of a year of my work and personal attention for this program at $7500. While I could easily rationalize that in my head, my energy around changing that much was not totally clean. This became clear when another angel named John, whom I've never met or heard of sent me this message out of nowhere.

Drew — Good luck with your money making scheme and your insane rate.

Though I'd never met John, as soon as I read his e-mail, I wanted to meet him. And punch him. And then punch him again. At the very least I wanted to write him back. I wanted to make him feel like he made me feel. But I've been through this before and my higher-self dialed in. I know that nothing good would come from me feeding energy into this.

And most important, I remember that my reaction to this message was telling me something about ME. My buddy John was just an illusion — he was really the part of ME that still believed I didn't deserve to have a group of like-minded, cool people show up and pay me for sharing myself.

So I practiced what I preach and did the work to remove that conflicting intention about allowing my desire. (By the way, the VCLN is all about mastering how to do this in your own life).

And by the end of the next day I had my first two registrations and three (count 'em, 3) messages from people telling me what a great value my program offers.

Huge change.

And it comes from owing and noticing my reactions. Seeing them as something I need to clean up. And taking the appropriate action.

I hope the artist sells his painting. I hope the buyer loves buying it and seeing it on his wall. I am grateful to the people who sent me e-mails to show me where I was not allowing my intentions. I am conscious that every time I complain about money in any way, I am refusing to allow it in my own life.

And I move further into the space where my desires come to me. Just because I want them.

 

The waiter brought our breakfast plates to the table as I sat in a diner with a friend. Steam rose off the food and the aroma of food and fresh coffee filled my nostrils. A splash of cream for the coffee. A dash of hot sauce for my eggs. And now for the topper, a dollop of ketchup for my potatoes. Ah, the coy ketchup would require a moment of pause. As I tapped the bottom of the ketchup bottle, coaxing it to give up its sweetness, my friend broke into the Carly Simon song used in the old Heinz commercial:

“An-ti-ci-pation… An-ti-ci-pay-yyay-tion…”

I acknowledged his fine voice and finished my task. The subtle power of anticipation had been filling my thoughts as of late, so I took his song to have meaning beyond my home fries. I’m convinced that being in the state of anticipation is essential for consciously creating a very cool life. Lately I’ve noticed that each time I check my e-mail, I feel that warm rush of expectancy swell within me.

My eyes lock on each message as it pops in my inbox. I lock in, scanning for an e-mail having to do with my book. Perhaps my agent, a publisher, or an author I had contacted has gotten back to me. I wrote my brother Ned, another published author, about my feelings of anticipation.

“The butterflies appear every time I check my e-mail.” I wrote.

He wrote back, “Butterflies good. A sign you are living life as you should.”

His simple words of wisdom have stayed with me. I love the butterflies. I love how that field of energy suddenly appears out of nowhere and then begins to spread throughout my body. Lately, I feel alive while checking my e-mail. What’s more, that wonderful feeling seems to stay with me, regardless of what shows up in my inbox. We all know the glorious feeling of anticipation. Christmas morning as a child. Prepping for a first date. The countdown before a vacation. But why is that feeling of anticipation so powerful? I’m glad you asked…

Being in the state of anticipation means that you are engaged in the creation of something you desire. The focus of this desire can be anything — it can be finding a new house, going to a concert, creating a baby, or even adding ketchup for your potatoes. When you engage that creative energy and begin to direct its flow, you are really tapping into the same infinite Energy Source that created the universe and everything in it. This Energy Source is always available to us – it surrounds you right now — but like most wonderful things, it requires your awareness in order for you to wield its true power.

It’s important to clarify that being in the state of anticipation does not mean living in the future. A common trap is to place all of our emphasis on the manifestation of things versus the process of creation. In these times, we get locked in on what we want and wanting it NOW. The fact that our desire has not yet arrived often leads us to be a state of worry and doubt (which of course, are known butterfly poisons).

The greater truth is that as much as we may fall prey to the illusion that it’s all about the moment of manifestation, deep down we all really live for being in the experience of creating things. If this still sounds strange, let me show you what I mean. Picture this (and pretend you love baseball as much as I do): Your team is playing in the World Series. It’s the ninth inning of the game. Your team is ahead. Which one of these games would you prefer to watch? One where your team was leading 12-1? Or one where your team was ahead 3-2? I’ll wager you’d choose the close game because the outcome is still in doubt. Not only has the outcome not unfolded, but if you’re a fan, there’s even some tension!

The underlying reason we watch any game (e.g., sporting event, election, the stock market, etc.) is because we enjoy being a part of the unfolding, stress and all. Otherwise we would simply read the headline the next morning and move on. Quite simply, it’s just more fun to be in the unfolding of things. And remember, we are here to have fun.

Likewise, imagine for a moment that you had a book you deeply wanted to share with the world. Again, I’ll give you a couple options to consider. In the first option, suppose you that you have the power to snap your fingers and instantly manifest all the rewards (e.g., some notoriety and money) of having a bestseller. Snap! Whammo! Done. Compare this to your second option, which is probably more similar to most of your experiences. Instead of having the experience of the book manifest on the spot, would you prefer to be part of the unfolding of how your book went from obscurity to bestseller?

While this option would likely include moments of rejection and doubt, it would also include new people, places and a series of events building upon each other that surpasses anything in your imagination. Again, when you really think about it, I’m putting you down for the latter option. The essence of life is to be in the flow of energy and the creation of things. The juice exists in the experiences we have, the unfolding of our stories, and the feelings of our desire and anticipation.

So a powerful question to ask yourself is this: “Where are the oh-so-powerful butterflies in my life?” In other words, what are the grand desires you hold for yourself? What is the next cool thing that you’d like to bring into your life? If you have no butterflies, you’re not really giving yourself a fair shot at the coolest version of your life. So, your work is as follows:

1) Discover where your butterflies of desire live. (Hint: They tend to hang out on right on the edge, away from what you know to be “safe.”)

2) Hold your desire. In the process, continually make adjustments so that you feel in alignment with your desires.

3) Revel in the unfolding.

I stand five feet nine inches. Sometimes I lie and say five-ten. Just sounds better, right? When people who know me only from the phone or an online relationship meet me in person, it’s not uncommon for them to remark, “Gee, you’re not as tall as I’d imagined.”

My remarkably average height is rarely an issue though. I can reach the top shelf and I’m taller than most women. However, one of the few places my height is ever an issue is on the basketball court. The majority of the time I find myself matched up with someone taller than me. Having been this height for the past couple decades, I’ve adjusted to guarding and shooting over taller people.

Still, when you go up for a shot against men who enjoy a 6-to-9 inch height advantage, you can expect a sweaty palm to stamp your shot “Return to Sender” every once in a while. In the parlance of the court, blocked shots are referred to as “rejections” and through the years, I’ve been rejected hundreds of times.

The real power of a blocked shot comes from getting in the head of the shooter; percentage-wise, the offensive team usually retains possession on blocked shots. But after the block it’s not uncommon to hear, “Get that sh*t outta here.” Advantage, defense.

Of course, the idea behind this sort of verbal warfare is to intimidate you — to cause you to shrink into your fear of failing, your fear of being embarrassed by getting blocked again. If you buy into this fear, you’ll settle for shots that are more difficult and farther from the basket. And the odds that you will lose rise dramatically.
I bring up the story of rejection because it’s been at the forefront of my mind. I have a book proposal under review at several major publishers. For a couple of weeks, these have been the messages forwarded to me from my agent:

“Thank you so much for letting me have a look at Drew Rozell’s (proposal), but I’m sorry to report that I’m going to pass. There’s some solid advice here but I’m afraid that in the end, we just didn’t feel that the content was fresh enough to stand out from the many similar books already on the market.”

“Many thanks for sending along Drew's project. I don't think we're going to be in the market for another book that, in so many ways, tends to mirror what XXX says in his.”

“I did indeed love the title of this project, but I wasn’t confident we could get enough media for this (competition for slots is so fierce) to want to take it on, so we’re not going to make an offer.”

The first few blows slid right off me like weak jabs off a Vaseline-slathered cheek. But then one day I received three rejections in rapid succession. Bam! Bam! Bam! I felt like I got knocked on my keyster. Like a boxer who never saw the punch coming, I tried to reorient myself from the canvas as another adversary began to pump through my veins – Doubt.

“Wow. Maybe I’ve been deluding myself all this time. Maybe I’m really not a very good writer. Maybe I have nothing original or worthwhile to say. Maybe…”

For the entire afternoon, I chose to believe that my dream had turned to dust. I relinquished control over my own intentions. And no, none of this felt good.

Later that night I re-read the proposal I submitted. And I liked what I wrote. My desire rose within me once again and I felt like my work now was to trust and allow things to work out rather than control how they worked out.
On the basketball court or in life, the most compelling question is not if you’ll get rejected. Of course you will. Rather, the question is how do you choose to respond when you meet with rejection?

We all know about the power of persistence in the face of rejection. We need not look far to find such stories on inspiration in the face of adversity. Even so, rejection looms as a deep-seated fear that keeps people from taking their best shot. And perhaps this is due in part from how we choose view rejection in the first place. 

Just as death is part of life, rejection is part of success. When you think about it, working through a persistent struggle is what gives success its sweetness. Rejection is not be feared or avoided. Just as there is no happiness without sadness, no yin without yang, there can be no success without rejection.

Getting rejected on the court has made me a better basketball player. Getting rejected in from colleges and graduate schools, while painful in the moment, over time revealed themselves to be absolutely necessary for me to fulfill my intentions in a perfect way. And being rejected in relationships led me to hone in on what I really desired from a partner and no longer settle for “good enough.” Getting rejected from publishers will allow me to attract the perfect publisher or improve my work to something even better. Either way, it’s perfect. Through rejection, we evolve.

So, can you see rejection as being valuable and necessary? When you meet with rejection, do you keep your cool? Do you keep driving to the hoop or do you pass the ball, submitting to the fear of being blocked again? Most important, in the face of rejection, do you still hold your intentions, or do you choose to bow your head and relinquish your true power?

Getting blocked is part of the game. But remember, there’s no greater thrill than going right at that bigger opponent and beating them to the hoop for the score.

UPDATE: After writing this piece, some positive e-mails came in. At this very moment, I am in New York City meeting with some interested publishers. Exciting! I'll post something on the blog when I know more. — d